Sunday, May 30, 2010

Burned out...

My brain doesn't work anymore. I'm so tired of studying and the stress of the exams ahead. While my best work was done with my lack of experience in courses where one final makes up 100% of your final grade, I'm not sure how I stack up against my peers. And although I am afraid to admit it, a couple less than passes might be on my next progress report, *sigh*. On one exam I was sure I had until 1pm to finish, turns out it ended at noon, afterwards it took everything I had to keep myself composed as I walked to the computer lab. Let's just say that one didn't go so well. And prior to one exam that I found particularly challenging some the boys were discussing how most of it was "common sense". Rage and envy filled within me. Perhaps I don't "have what it takes" to make it at this university, but I like to believe that what I lack in intellect I make up for in imagination and determination. Exams have never been my strong suit, unless it's something I find truly interesting, and this year the winners go to Nanomaterials and Metals Processing (welding, casting, etc.). Who knew? And Nano, the course I fretted over the entire year, I am confident I did better in than most of the other exams (9 in total). And there is one little stinker left, but I just can't find the will or inspiration to dig deep into it and it is only three short days away. Maybe I'll get lucky, ha ha ha, I doubt it. So, here I sit praying for some spark of ambition to get me through to the next exam. My less disciplined self is ready to return home to the school where finals are, and rightfully so, 30-40% of your grade, and courses where throughout the year you know where you stand, but even though I am far from these warm thoughts I will persevere. Send me some inspiration.


2 comments:

James said...

Don't sweat it too much! You're in frickin' England! Having a kick ass time! Enjoy it!

Soon your exams will be a distant memory. Do your best and get home safely!

Unknown said...

You are doing great KP!!! See you in just over a week!!!!!! I'm missing you on Skype. amb has her computer so I've been m.i.a. while watching the kids. Have a blast your last week!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chand